I am writing this blog for several reasons. The first and foremost reason is because I can't afford therapy and this is a good way to get my thoughts and feelings out. Also I am privy to the internet because the library has it and I spend most of my time here. And third, I really think there are so many prejudices regarding homeless people that I figure that
maybe if someone reads my story, they will develop a better empathy or understanding to the plight of so many people in this society. I know that I am just a micro cosmic cell in the
grand scheme of things but I also believe in the old adage that "everything happens for a reason". And using that belief has led me here... perhaps because God gave me the ability to express myself in a manner that hopefully will open others eyes and teach those who do not quite "get it". Maybe then that person that has learned something here or opened their mind will then pass it forward and help a person in need.
It astounds me that there are so many homeless and hungry people in this country. Of course back when I was living "the good life" I probably was like many out there... while I had great empathy for people in a bad situation, I don't think I viewed it like I do now. I also don't think a person can actually "understand" anything in this life without having the actual experience of it themselves.
Judgement is such a commonality of people who look at a person in this position. Even I used to do it, before I gave someone money or food, I would take that one moment in my mind and think well he/she probably isn't really hungry... they probably want drugs... or they are just scamming look at how nice they are dressed or groomed, they must have bathed somewhere... should I give this person money or food? And sadly we all do it. It's that moment of "power" we have to use in our minds right before we help another in this circumstance. Almost like we are "above those people" ... almost like we NEED to feel that power. I know many people might not agree with this analogy because to agree would mean they might have to admit something to themselves that they don't feel good about. And we all want to think we are good people inside. The facts are we are for the most part good inside... sometimes though we are so caught up living the big "dream" that we forget that others need us to be unconditional in our love and compassion.
Now that I am in the position I never thought possible in being in, I have many realizations and have gained much insight and wisdom from it all. So... I am choosing to write about it on the internet... and maybe along the way someone will read it and change their thinking about the homeless.
One thing I know for sure...I have had a life full of experiences, traumatic and joyful, good and bad.. but being homeless and poor is one of the hardest "crosses" I have ever had to bear in my life. So the way I look at it, I have some kind of responsibility here to open the minds of others and maybe wake people up to the harsh realities of it all.. Hence this blog.
“At the end of life we will not be judged by how many diplomas we have received, how much money we have made, how many great things we have done. We will be judged by “I was hungry, and you gave me something to eat, I was naked and you clothed me. I was homeless, and you took me in.”
-Mother Teresa-
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